- 3 days ago
Ten Women I Have Been Warned Against Becoming:
1. The Girl Who Takes Up Too Much Space, always, her shoulders too wide in stairwells, her hips too big in doorways, her voice too loud in classes. This woman does not understand the art of crumbling, of curling herself tight like the spiral of a fern, soft, delicate, unwilling to reach out the ivy of her fingers to grasp onto what should rightfully be hers. This is a beast, an elephant, a moving mountain and she is capable of flattening you, she is capable of ruining you, she is capable of making you feel as small and insignificant in her life as she is supposed to be. You are this woman’s footnote to history, you are her side note in song lyrics, you are constantly interrupted by her with a witty joke you wish you thought of. I asked what the problem was with being a steamroller instead of a sunflower and I was laughed down.
2. The Beautiful One, the long hair or the slim waist or the pretty eyes or the lips like bowstrings. This woman looks good in everything because she’s confident in whatever you put her in. She’ll cut her hair short on you no matter how you like it, she’ll wear high heels and step on your opinions, she’ll look hot as hell no matter what size she is. See, the reason you can’t trust her is because women like this don’t need your permission, they’ll do as they please and get away with it. They’ll say no to you, over and over. Teach your daughters that beautiful means dangerous, teach them to distrust women who love themselves. Equate beautiful with vapid, equate pretty with stupid, take their power from them. Say they’re vain for their makeup, refuse to see them without it. These women are snakes, they are serpents. I said maybe the problem lies with you being unable to control yourself and was told to get off my pedestal.
3. A Bitch. Women are supposed to be ladies in the street but will tear skin under sheets. I’m told: Never raise your voice. Speak gently. Submit. Hold your opinion against your lips and when you admit to it, make sure it comes out as a butterfly wing suggestion. Don’t disagree. Don’t undermine someone else’s authority, regardless of whether or not they deserve your respect. Someone touches you, just move away from them. Don’t hit. Don’t talk back. Be like the ruins of Rome, only beautiful if you can’t hear your quiet death.
4. The Needy One. I have heard how others spit when they talk about how she gave you everything and you shoved it back down her throat until she choked on it, until she came back crawling and asked you what she did, until her palms and knees were scraped for want of just a little affection - never be this woman, I’m told, because she’s a joke and the joke is that she dared to have more emotion than you did. The truth is, I’m told, the one who cares less in a partnership is the one who wins. I didn’t know this was a competition.
5. The Cock Tease, certified stripper, how dare that girl look like that and not want me to sleep with her. Lust is always personified as a lady in red with a dress slit up her thigh. Lust is sinful because it’s power, it’s not asking for attention - it’s demanding it. I’m told she is the worst kind of woman, that looking good is supposed to be some kind of shame on her kin. I’m told not to leave the house in such a short skirt, not with a shirt so low, not with a lace back, not with high heels, not dressed like that. My lipstick can’t be too red, my hair can’t be too mussed, I can’t just “turn someone on like that and then leave them wanting.” I mentioned that instant gratification actually ruins our psyche and was told that being led on was “exhausting.” I said that there was a difference between purposefully tricking someone into liking you and just being attractive or friendly. I was told there’s also a difference between coffee and tea but both result in caffeine. I said, “I’ve been turned on in class by the girls I talk to but I didn’t expect anything from them,” and they said, “It’s different, you’re not a man,” but couldn’t explain where that difference was.
6. A Slut, obviously ruined by another person’s touch. It doesn’t matter how many people she’s actually been with, it’s all about the rumors she carries with her. Easy. Harlot. You’ll still try to get with her, you’ll still take her into your bed and kiss her and say things you don’t mean - but you’ll defame her name when you talk to your buddies. My father used to say “A slut is fine for the night, but the virgin is who you take home and marry.” Maybe he didn’t know he was teaching his daughter to hate her sexuality. Maybe he didn’t know that every time she’d be kissed, her whole system would shake until she felt ready to combust, shame and self-hatred shivering against her spine. Maybe he didn’t know she’d disconnect emotions and sex because he always told her, “Boys are different, they won’t care about you.” Nobody said to her that it was okay to experiment. See, the funny thing is, I’m a dancer so I know exactly where my center of gravity is. I know how hard I’ll fall in each direction. Yet out of fear of getting hurt, I won’t let a single person inside of my bed.
7. The Soulmate. Never love romance more than you love being cynical. Never show weakness, never like pink, never think maybe you might find someone nice and settle down with them. Someone will find you, I was told, And if you’re lucky, he’ll put up with you when you start getting old. Never be the woman who believes in happily ever after, never be dumb enough to think maybe someone could love you after all of your mistakes. It has nothing to do with whether or not a family is important to you and you’re in a good place where a relationship would make your life better - you’re not a princess. You don’t get married, you settle.
8. The Girl With Strength, who can outrun everyone and who is stronger than her boyfriend. “See the thing about boys,” says my daddy, “Is that you have to let them win.” I sat at home and read stories about Artemis and wanted to become the huntress, too. I wanted to howl at the moon, I wanted to slay the beasts that bested me, I wanted to rule my kingdom with bloody fists. But girls are never athletes, never supposed to be “built,” regardless of the fact civilizations were constructed on our spines and we made homes in war by the steel of our ribs. Never be strong. We are supposed to wilt.
9. The Lady CEO: because if you choose work over family, are you really a girl? How dare you fight your way to the top through every pair of eyes that bore through your blouse, through every meeting where you were hushed by the sound of someone else talking, through every time someone called you “sweetie,” how dare you yearn for something. Is your husband the stay-at-home one? I can’t imagine how that is going. He’s not a real man, after all. I don’t give it long before the divorce. How dare you decide you’re happy being single. Don’t you know you’re supposed to bear children. Where is your honor? Where is your wisdom? Who cares if you are the leader, the best suited for your position, the quickest-thinking, the one who makes the hardest clients come back again. Don’t you see? Across history, women have been terrible at success. They always lose their man in the end. (When I said, “I would rather be a famous author than a mediocre mother,” I was told, “No, don’t worry, you’ll be a fine mommy.”)
10. THE GIRL I AM: FIRECRACKER AND DON’T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT I’LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND I WON’T FUCKING REGRET IT I’M NOT YOUR PRETTY GIRL I’M NOT YOUR ANYTHING I’M PERFECT, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP WHAT I’M DOING. I DON’T WANT TO BE “LADYLIKE” THAT LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING I’M NOT GOING TO STOP STANDING UP AND DEMANDING WHAT’S COMING TO ME. I’M GONNA BE SOMEBODY. I’M GONNA MAKE THEM REMEMBER ME. I REFUSE TO BE OVERSHADOWED IN HISTORY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO CREATE BUT YOU MADE ME A DRAGON YOU PUT ME IN THE FIRE AND WHEN I STOPPED BURNING I LEARNED HOW TO GLOW DON’T THINK YOU CAN STOP ME YOU CAN’T TAME A TORNADO."
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Please do not scroll past this. This is lengthy, but please take care to read it. Our government is lying to us and trying to shut up the efforts of the families of the missing who are trying to tell the truth.
1.There were constant miscommunications and false announcements in the process of the rescue mission.
On April 18th morning, there were reports on KBS that the mission team managed to enter the Sewol ferry, and that they were now in the dining room where many of the missing passengers were believed to be held.
(screencap of the KBS footage that was included in a report from Nyuseutapa(뉴스타파), a news report podcast.)
This was an official governmental report from the Central Disaster and Safety Management Ministry from the Safety Administration. However, there was another announcement an hour later from the Equipment and Technology minister of the maritime police, Myeong-seok Koh. The announcement was that the report was false. From about 11:30 a.m. to 15:30 p.m., different news websites made contrasting reports about the situation with some websites saying that the report was false and some saying that it was true. And at 15:30 p.m., there was another official announcement from the Central Disaster and Safety Management Ministry that the mission team had in fact failed to enter the ferry. It was later revealed that the maritime police’s position was that there was no confirmation whether the entering had succeeded or not, and yet the government decided to officially announce it without any solid information.
(There is a report about this which you can watch here.)
This is only one example of the constant false announcements from the government that were marked as official. At the initial stage of the disaster, the Central Disaster and Safety Management Ministry announced that 368 people had been rescued only to change it to 175 people. Even that number was later proved to be false when the father of one student searched literally everywhere - the Paengmok port (the port near to the site of the disaster), the hospital, even the sewers for his daughter. Only then was it confirmed that the announcement of 175 survivors was false and the daughter who had been on the rescued list was in fact one of the missing. Even when the government announced that there were 555 people, 121 helicopters and 69 ships working on the mission, that announcement was later confirmed to be false when the family of the missing saw that there were not even 200 people working on the mission. Also there were only 2 helicopters and 10 ships.
Even the report that a marine diver had lost his life on the search was later turned out to be untrue. The said marine had lost his life from falling while changing the light bulbs of one of the ships.
(One of the news outlets with the false report on the death of the marine.)
2. There is hardly anything being done on the rescue mission and the government announcements and the media reports are making it seem otherwise. During nighttime, star shells have to be used in order to continue the search and the government announced that they were doing so. However, when KBS was showing a footage of a star shell exploding and brightening the site of the disaster, (20:30 p.m.), civilian rescuers and two rescue teams were on standby because there were no star shells to work with. When the families of the missing requested for star shells to the person in charge, it took 20 minutes to get the permission for their use and 40 minutes for the plane they can use it with.
Also, on the first night of the disaster, when the government had announced that the rescue mission was ongoing, the families of the missing borrowed a fishing boat and visited the site. According to the family member Joong-yeol Kim, there was not a single ship within 100m radius of the disaster site. Even when the family members approached right next to the ship, there was no rescue team or ship to stop them.
(You can hear this interview here.)
And when president Geun-hye Park visited the site, the whole mission had to be paused for three hours for her visit.
3. The government is trying to stop the families of the missing from telling the truth. The families of the missing, angered by the constant false announcements and lack of control in resources decided to pay a protest visit the Cheongwadae (residential area of the president). It turned out that there were plain clothes policemen sent among them and they reported about this. Consequently, 10 police buses were sent and the police stopped the family members from advancing.
(Police members stopping the progress of the family members.)
TL;DR: The government is lying. They are saying they have concentrated huge amount of resources on the rescue mission and that they have made progress, but it is all a lie. IN FACT, THEY ARE ACTUALLY USING POLICE MEMBERS TO RESTRAIN THE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE PROTESTING ABOUT THIS. THE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO HAVE POSSIBLY LOST THEIR CHILDREN, SISTERS, AND BROTHERS FOREVER ARE LITERALLY BEING STOPPED FROM TELLING THE PRESIDENT HOW LITTLE WORK IS ACTUALLY BEING DONE. PLEASE READ AND PLEASE SPREAD THIS.
(via sunggyukimm)Source: iwalkandtalk
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